You Might Be A Yuppie Biker if

·        You drink capuccino instead of beer

·        You can´t figure out why the battery on your new bike won't stay charged

·        Your trailer has more miles on it than your bike

·        Your leathers still have creases

·        You don't ride your bike to work because it scuffs your penny loafers

·        You move your bike and the grass is brown under the wheels

·        Your tatoos wash off

·        You have doubled the weight of your bike with bolt on chrome

·        You have never kick started a bike before

·        You buy bikes as investments

·        You refer to your bike as your "toy"

·        You wear a full face helmet

·        You wear a helmet

·        You wear earplugs

·        You really believe that there are bikes that come customized from the factory

·        The last time you went to the Harley dealer you came home with golfballs, a toilet seat and Harley underwear

·        Your Harley shirt has a coller

·        It´s no fun to ride unless someone sees you

·        You don't ride in the rain

·        You think the movie "Easy Rider" is cool

·        You can't find your oil filter

·        You think any motorcycle is too loud

·        Your ponytail comes off with your cap

·        You leave your garagedoor open just so people can see your bike

·        You need a biker lingo book

·        You are a HOG member and think you are an outlaw

·        You think a wrench is a bitchy woman

·        When you buy your bike you start calling everyone "bro"

·        You stop 30 miles from a party to unload your bike so you can ride in

·        You think the models in the catalogs are what bikers are suppose to look like

·        You worry about what bikers are suppose to look like

·        You read "ADAC Motorwelt"

·        Real bikers scare you

·        You paint your office nick-name (like EasyRider or Bad-Ass) on your BMW-open-face-helmet

You know you're a yuppie biker if

·        You paid for your new FXSTC in 24 months or less

·        You complained about the "smell and fumes" near the back of your last group ride

·        You won't ride unless it's a group ride

·        Everyone on your last group ride works at your firm, or plays tennis with you

·        You've ever said "Isn't it too cold/wet/hot/dry/dark to ride?"

·        The only reason you have a scooter is because you are sponsered by Mam& Dad…

·        You carry a cam-corder instead of a knife

·        You only rode a bike in a TV-movie on a northern island and tell people you have founded the MC-scene

·        Your saddlebags have a special pocket for your mobile phone

·        You read this page & say hey I do that!

·        Your only scooter has been an "elephant" and you don't even know what that is

·        You put newspaper under your scooter to catch da drippins

·        Other bikers at the bar say who's that?

·        Bikers check out your scooter and say man that boy got way to much money!

·        Your jeans have a crease from where your mommie just pressed them

·        Your jeans are clean, in fact if any spot on you is clean

·        You think frindge is a mandantory accessory on your leathers

·        You try to look like a biker

·        You try to act like a biker

·        You´ve ever stopped at a red light & forgot to put a foot down (sober)

·        You run to your bros and they say hey lets go and you have to call home to check first

·        You carry a phone just in case you MIGHT break down!

·        You think a chain is something you wear around your neck

·        You think a missing link is a human race thing

·        You think a wristpin is something you wear on your wrist

·        Bikers give you a nickname something like FOOL and you think its cool

·        You have little eagles on all your clothes

·        You read this page and get pissed!!!

·        The two most important items in your toolkit are a brush and a manicure kit

·        You think that's actually a *suntan* that makes real bikers so dark-skinned

·        When your scooter doesn't start, your first thought is "how do I get it to a shop?"

·        You ride a Harley and drive a Toyota or VW

You know you're a yuppie biker if

·        YOU HAVE EVER RIDDEN WITH A TIE ON YOU HAVE HARLEY PLATES ON YOUR JAP PIECE OF SHIT CAR

·        YOU RIDE WITH YOUR SUNGLASSES TRYING TO BE TOUGH YOU CAN`T SEE THE CONSTRUCTION IN A TUNNEL AND FALL OFF YOUR SCARIEST BIKER EXPERIANCE WAS WAITING FOR YOUR NEW BIKE FINANCING TOBE APPROVED THE BANK HOLDS THE TITLE TO YOUR BIKE

·        You think helmets actually protect you melon

·        You own a lap dog and reptiles are sick

·        You treat road trash with calimine

·        You've ever worn docker's kakis

·        You bought a new yamaha or honda because you think "Hey everyone will think it´s a Harley"

·        You own a sign that says "Harley Parking Only" and put it up in your garage

·        You carry a cellphone, a toothbrush, and fresh underwear in your toolbag

·        You go to a run, camp at plastic fenced areas ".......MC only" in a monster motorhome and leave

·        Your bike tied down on your trailer the entire trip

·        Your main purpose of the trip being to take pictures of the naked people to show the guys back at the office all the wild and crazy bikers you hang out with

·        Your leather side bags have GUCCI stenciled in them

·        You know you're a yuppie biker...if you dont know you're a yuppie bike

·        You have more different kinds of cycle polish than lubricants in your garage

·        You don't know who Sonny Barger is

·        You refer to Harley Davidson as "the motor company" or "the boys in milwaukee"

·        You use armor-all on your lethers and dippity-doo on your ponytail